So, I took a little break and tried to clear my head. I tried to reconnect with some friends and family that have slipped a little out of reach since our massive move. I cleaned, which tends to be good for my soul. I took long walks on the beach and I spent hours just sitting and playing with my daughter. And still I can't find it. Still, it feels empty.
I feel whole when I have purpose and direction and when people need me. I feel whole when i give in to the free spirited, wanderer in my soul. I feel whole after a hard, productive day at work. I feel whole while being creative. The utilitarian in me gets bent out of shape a bit when the pleasure seeker in me tries to triumph. The creative, free spirited side of me gets bent out of shape when everything becomes so utilitarian. This yin and yang, this balancing act is something I have become painfully aware of only in recent years. This seemed a much more natural process, something that worked it self out in the past. These days it is a much more conscious effort to maintain the balance of the necessary things and the things that are just plain good for the soul.
So, I have begun to list things that really make the very core of me tremble with joy and put my soul at ease
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Here is the beginning of what is shaping up to be a long, long list:
The Ocean
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Sunshine
Friends and Family, this little girl
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| All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. |
Singing, Nature
and
.... wait for it ...
Photography.
I am so inspired daily by all of the beauty around me that I am happy as a clam behind that lens, shooting life away, capturing every moment and holding on to it dearly so as to never forget. Not one single moment. And then it hit me. All at once. Inspiration. There it is. There it has been all along. In the little daily things that make my heart sing. It is this that makes me who I am, this walking contradiction, this tigh-rope blanancing act of a practical modern day gypsy. Someone I am proud of being. I don't need to look so hard for the things that are right in front of me, always there, steady and constant and beautiful. This is my inspiration.
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